To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Gus RARELY forwards silly e-mails to me, but he knew I'd like this one!


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom; don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them "Do you want fries with that?"

4. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks; once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For marijuana".

6. Skip down the hall rather rather than walk; see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".

9. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

10. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

11 . Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

12. Pick up a box of condoms at the Pharmacy, go to the counter, and ask where the fitting room is.